Women: Crooked Rib? | Omar Suleiman

 

Transcription

So one of the most controversial aspects of the creation of Hawa, of Eve, is what was she created from? And there are some very condescending things that are said about Eve, and are used by extension to the great women, into belittle women and to portray women as being inherently deficient.

This all comes from obviously the story from the Bible, which is from Genesis, that Eve specifically, Hawa was specifically created from Adam’s rib.

Okay, so the idea of Eve being created from the rib of Adam is a biblical story. It’s from Genesis. And by extension it finds its way in our tradition as well.

Now the Prophet ﷺ as never said that Eve was specifically created from the rib of Adam. So what’s our take on this entire thing?

Number one, Allah says: We have created man in the best creation, and fashioned him in the best creation. So what that means is both men and women were created without deficiency.

Allah also says: We have honored all of the children of Adam. So that’s to be established that, wherever this discussion goes, that men and women were created in the same fashion. In the sense that they are both created with the same level of completeness.

Which is why Allah says: we have created you first and foremost from male and female, and then made you nations and tribes.

So Allah addresses misogyny or sexism as well as racism. In fact he addresses sexism before racism, and at the end of it all: the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the one who has the most taqwa. The one who has the most piety. Which is unseen. It’s in the heart. So no matter what your gender is, or what your race is, you have the same ability to reach Allah and to have a sense of completeness.

Now, what is the creation of Hawa? Allah says:

 يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ اتَّقُوا رَبَّكُمُ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفْسٍ وَاحِدَةٍ

That’s the first ayah of surah An-Nisa, the fourth chapter, Allah says He created you from one soul:

مِّن نَّفْسٍ وَاحِدَةٍ

And He created from it its spouse

وَخَلَقَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا

Alright. And so here’s the question: مِنْهَا – minha – here in the first verse of Surah An-Nisa. خَلَقَ مِنْهَا – khalaka minha – “He created from it” its spouse. What is “it”? What is “minha”?

And this is where the first difference of opinion appears amongst the scholars. The majority of the scholars say that Hawa was created from Adam. That she was extracted and created from Adam.

Which is, again, her name. Because she was created from something that was living.

Some of the scholars say minha refers to the same type of dirt that Adam was created from. So what Allah used to create Adam from, He also used the same thing to create Hawa from.

So it’s an open difference of opinion and discussion and there is really nothing conclusive in that regard.

What we do have is a hadith in sahih Al-Bukhari where the Prophet ﷺ says: the woman was created from the rib.

He ﷺ doesn’t specify Hawa. He ﷺ doesn’t specify Eve. He ﷺ simply says: the woman was created from the rib.

Now, the discussion is was the Prophet ﷺ employing an analogy or was the Prophet ﷺ speaking literally?

Alright? Could it possibly be an analogy? Allah says that man was created from haste. Right? So it’s not literal but it’s an analogy.

And what would suggest that this is an analogy is that in one of the narrations in Bukhari as well, it’s also completely authentic, the Prophet ﷺ, says that the woman is like the rib. That if you try to straighten it, you will break it.

All right. What is the context of this hadith that the Prophet ﷺ is mentioning?

This hadith is actually very beautiful because, number one: it’s from the Khutbah of the Prophet ﷺ in Arafah. So it’s just a couple of months before the Prophet ﷺ passed away, the Prophet ﷺ farewell’s Hajj. And the Prophet ﷺ was very much in tune with his society, and also emphasized family issues.

All right so the Prophet ﷺ says in this final khutbah of his on the day of Arafah, he ﷺ says: O people, treat your wives well, treat your wives well, for verily the woman was created from a rib and the most bent part of the rib is the top of it.

Now, realize here he ﷺ did not say that the woman is the most bent part of the rib. That she’s created from the most crooked part of the rib. He ﷺ simply said the most crooked part of the rib, the most bent part of the rib is the top of it.

He ﷺ said: if you try to straighten it you will break it, and if you leave it then then it will remain in its place. So he ﷺ said act kindly, deal kindly with your wives.

Now, if you listen to that, you say, well what does that exactly mean?

Not a single explanation of this hadith is that the woman is inherently deficient as opposed to the men, that she’s bent, that she’s crooked. And, you know, it goes to the general idea of assigning evil to Eve. 

That women are inherently deficient or crooked and evil this is not a concept in Islam. So that’s definitely not the explanation of the hadith. It’s not the context of the hadith and what the Prophet was saying.

What was the Prophet ﷺ saying? Either he ﷺ was being literal and saying that the woman was created from the rib, okay? not the most crooked part but that she was created from the rib, and he ﷺ simply went on to explain what the most crooked and the most bent part of the rib was, or the Prophet ﷺ was using an analogy. And most of the scholars said he ﷺ was using an analogy.

And what is that analogy? What was the Prophet ﷺ saying? He ﷺ was saying stop trying to change and mold your wives into what you want them to be.

Because there is an impatience.

And imam Nawawi in the explanation of the hadith he says the Prophet ﷺ was addressing the impatience that men had with their wives in trying to make them exactly as they wanted them to be: “You are supposed to act like this”, “you’re supposed to do this”, “you’re supposed to do that”, right? Addressing all of their habits, addressing everything, we’re not talking about haram and growing together and pleasing Allah subhana wa taala and distancing ourselves from Allah, that is considered disobedience to Allah, but the idea of trying to mold your wife into exactly what you want her to be.

So the Prophet ﷺ is saying, look you’re not going to get the perfect woman, all right? Just like you’re not the perfect man.

And he ﷺ was using the example of the rib because just like if you took a rib and you try to just straighten it out like that you’re going to end up breaking someone and killing yourself.

And the Prophet ﷺ says leave it bent and that is better for you. Otherwise if you break it, it is divorce.

So the Prophet ﷺ was saying breaking it is divorce.

So the Prophet ﷺ was saying, look everyone is going to have certain traits that you don’t like and you don’t agree with, but this is part of who she is. And just like you have your issues, she has her issues.

Some of the scholars they said that the woman’s nature is more complex than the man’s nature.

And that’s not to buy into this concept that women are crazy human beings and insane and emotional wrecks, and men are the ones that are logical and know what they’re doing. But that a lot of times men have a difficult time understanding women.

The nature of the man and the woman are different, and men have a difficult time understanding that. And the Prophet ﷺ is saying not to interfere with that, and not to pretend like you understand everything, because there are certainly going to be gaps here, you’re not going to be able to understand.

The third one which I find very beautiful, the third explanation that I was able to find from the ulama was that the woman has been created in a way to protect the vital organs, the way that the rib protects certain things. And to try to change that might endanger those organs.

One of the beautiful things that one of the Imams said, he said that a lot of times the things that we dislike in our spouses are actually the things that are protecting the marriage and protecting the household. There are actually good things for the household, good things for the marriage, good things for the relationship, which is why Allah says you might dislike something and Allah puts much blessing in the very quality that you dislike.

So there are certain qualities that you might not like about your spouse, but they’re what’s holding things down that’s what’s keeping everything in its place.

And so the message of this hadith is not to say that women are crooked ribs or inherently crooked. That’s not the understanding of the hadith. The Prophet ﷺ was using an example like he liked to make analogy, as he used to do with many different things.

And he ﷺ was saying don’t try to change your wife and mold her into what you want her to be.

Understand, be compassionate. Grow together. We all have our deficiencies and we shouldn’t expect our spouses to be perfect.

Instead we should mutually try to deal with those deficiencies, grow together, and be understanding when there are things that we are not capable of understanding, so long as those things are not displeasing to Allah, don’t entail any form of Haram.

So it could be literal or it could be an analogy, either way there is no suggestion whatsoever of evil coming from women or deficiency specifically being assigned to women in a way that they would be more deficient than men. Rather we all have our deficiencies and we ask Allah subhana WA Ta’ala to complete us through one another. So we would be able to grow together in good and in patience and all that is pleasing Allah.